LET IT SNOW!

Holy Geez!

Huge snow storm predicted for our area! Reports have us getting anywhere from 8 to 24 inches, depending on how the storm develops.

Can you say EXCITED HEATHER!

Snow shovel is out.

Best coat to wear for making snow angels - check.

Tube for sledding - by the side of the house.

Poodle in a warm sweater - of course.

My only gnawing uneasiness about the storm has to do with Apes driving in it...

She was supposed to leave this afternoon to drive over the mountains to attend a family wedding. Normally I'd be going with her, but for several logistic reasons, we decided I'd stay here with the dogs.

The thought of her driving, at night, over a windy mountain in a crazy snow storm doesn't sit well with me (or with her family). We're playing it by ear to see if she hits the road or not.

If she does, I'll be a basket case until she arrives safe and sound.

Inches of snow will also cause some issues with our princess-paw dogs. I am going to have to put a catheter in Snaggle. Surely there's a You Tube video on such procedures...

Here's to a night that feels a lot like Christmas!

Be safe out there, ya'll!

My Side.

Tap. Tap.

This thing on?

I know there has been some speculation I have been in rehab for my Diet Coke affliction. It's not true.

I'd rather cut off my left arm than quit. And that's the truth.

I've just been lazy when it comes to writing. Thankfully, Apes gave me something to write about last night.

Her SLEEP TALK is back!

It takes about 2.2 seconds to fall asleep once you nestle in our new bed. The memory foam topper cradles your body and whispers sweet lullabies in your ear. I swear.

I was entranced in my third Dateline of the night (thank you DVR) and Apes was fast asleep. At some point, I gasped in horror at the ugly pants a woman on TV was wearing and apparently April didn't appreciate the interruption of slumber.

"Shhhh...." she whispered-mumbled. "Quiet as a mouse!"

"What?"

Silence.

"QUIET AS A MOUSE?" I laughed and repeated slowly, staring at the top of her head to see if I could see sugar plums dancing above her pillow as she waited for Saint Nick.

Nothing. No dancing candy, no response.

About an hour later, the dogs started rustling, cuing me to either take them outside to do their business or pay the consequences.

Figuring I'd be sweet and brave the freezing cold so April didn't have to, I took the dogs downstairs and out back. Rosie will not go unless you stand outside with her, so I wrapped a blanket around my legs and hopped around the porch screaming "GO ROSIE GO ROSIE!"

Desperate to get back into the warmth of the bed, I ran upstairs and nearly jumped on April.

Not on purpose.

SHE WAS IN MY SPOT.

Seriously.

She STOLE my spot.

STOLE IT.

While I was out in the freezing cold with the dogs.

We both like to sleep on the left side of the bed. Many a debate has ensued over who is more "needy" for this particular portion of the bed.

We both sleep better on that side. April has to go to the bathroom more often. I take the dogs out more often. I said so. She said so.

"OH HELL NO, APRIL!" I stood over her, staring in disbelief that she would be that sneaky. That cruel.

She played dead.

"No. NO NO NO NO. MOVE OVER. It's MY night for this side of the bed. I can't BELIEVE you."

Nothing.

So I started rolling her over.

"Noooo, my alarm is over here!" she blindly pointed in the direction of the clock.

"So. Move. I'm not playing."

"UGHHHHAHHHHHAAAAHHHHHHH." Her frustrated grunt sounded like an angry animal giving birth. She swung her legs over and moved back into her spot.

"Hey April..."

"What?"

"Quiet as a mouse, please."

Weekend Pictoral.

The snow on Saturday didn't stick around long, but it stayed long enough Snaggle had to be carried outside to do his business. He has no idea he was a stray and we saved him. In fact, I'm quite certain he thinks he's doing US a favor by living here.



On Saturday night, a small group of folks came over to the house to wish Apes a happy birthday.

We can always count on Pat to bring the fun.



The night's entertainment was a dice game called Left, Right, Center.

Each player starts with $3. You roll 3 dice. If you roll an L, you pass a dollar to the person on your left. An R means your dollar goes to your right. The letter C requires you put a dollar in the center and a black dot allows you to keep your money.

You're out of the game if you have no more money. The winner keeps the pot in the center.

It looks something like this:



I was on an early roll!



However, Pat took all our monies and won the pot.



I love this picture simply because Kevin and April are the only two who appear to have a clue the moment is being preserved.



As is custom at our parties, the leg wrestling portion of the evening was not left out.

To leg wrestle, start like this:



On the count of 3, you each lift your inside leg, hook legs and try to flip the other person over.

Like this:



April flipped every single challenger in seconds.

Teo:



Michael:



Relda (not pictured).

Kevin:



And everyone thinks I'M the brute!

We made nearly each and every guest traipse up to our bedroom and admire our new bedroom suit. They weren't allowed to leave until they sufficiently ooohed and awwed over the furniture that took us six months to pick out.

I realized I haven't shown ya'll yet! Here it is:







Hope you all are having a good day! I bought two of April's gifts today and already have them wrapped and under the tree.

Santa ain't got nuthin' no me!

'Tis the Season

I LOVE CHRISTMAS.

I have six huge plastic boxes to prove it. Just ask Apes. She'll be happy to tell you how excited she was to lose half the shed to ornaments, stuffed snow men, and the like.

At least I don't have a plastic manger scene to set up in the yard.

One of those would never work. We'd have dogs peeing on the baby Jesus and that just seems all kinda wrong.

We got our tree last night and it's perfect (thank you Lion's Club on Route 3).

Here's the view from outside the house:



Inside (this is now my favorite room):



We spent the morning doing some arts and crafts...personalizing the dog's stockings :)

Stewart's:



Snaggle's:



Jean Paul's:



Rosie's:



Probably my favorite Christmas decoration in the house comes courtesy of April's dad, who was nicknamed Wink. Unfortunately, Wink is no longer with us, but April was able to rescue his favorite Christmas tree.

I think you'll appreciate it as much as I do. Particularly since Wink loved a good glass of vino.

Introducing Wink's tree:



PS: IT'S SNOWING HERE!

You should see me. I'm like a kid. Okay, I'm more of a kid than normal.

It's HER DAY!

Today is Ape's birthday!

Wish her well, will ya?

I've enjoyed celebrating her every year and try to remember to do it every single day.

What's a birthday celebration without a little Aponex?

We gave Stewart, the big dog, a bath recently and he began running around the house like we shot him full of narcotics.

"Wow," Ape's gushed, watching Stew root around in the couch. "He's awfully sprite!"

"What?"

"Stewart. He's sprite after his bath. I wonder why dogs get that way."

"SPRY. He's SPRY. Not SPRITE."

"Oh."

Happy Birthday Apes. I love you and your jacked up phrases.

Holding It.

Who knew my last post about aging (without the slightest hint of grace) would touch a nerve in so many people?!

Thanks to everyone who forwarded the post and left a comment. Ya'll crack me up.

Here's what I've pondered most of today...

Why in God's name do I insist on waiting to go to the bathroom until I hurt so much that I'm certain my bladder is hanging out of my "down-there" parts?

I'm a big girl. I know where the bathroom is.

I can feel and acknowledge the tiny twinge that indicates I've fully digested my two liters of Diet Coke.

But I choose to ignore the signs.

Rather than act like an adult and take care of my business, I allow myself to become distracted as the pain grows, requiring me to clamp my legs together as if my life depends on no air seeping through.

My feet tap, I hum, swivel in my chair and only after I'm certain I can't possibly walk to the bathroom, do I even attempt it.

Why?

*she says, crawling to the bathroom*